Sunday, July 4, 2010

There's Something About Dylan

I did some babysitting last night (I love that this is how I make my living by the way, as if I'm still 14 years old...) for 3 boys. The middle kid, 4yo Dylan, is obsessed with the following: penises, butts, farts, burps and swear words; which is why he is, by far, my favorite of the three. At the end of the night, I asked him to go upstairs and put on his pj's and I'd be up in a second. When I approached his room, he was standing in the doorway with his hips jutting toward me. Reflexively I looked to find he'd managed to pull both penis and balls above the waistband of his underwear. And he's screaming at me, "LOOK! LOOK AT THIS!" and pointing right at it, as if I could possibly not notice. I gave him a high-five for originality. I can honestly say in 28 years, I've never seen this.

I wish I could have done more babysitting for this family (they're moving to England next week) because I have such a good time being a juvenile boy. Before Dylan and his 8yo brother Jacob went to bed, I warned them that if something stank in the morning, it'd probably because I planned to sneak in while they were sleeping and fart on their pillows. They thought that was hilarious and gross; admittedly it is.

I stayed over so that this morning I could have breakfast with the whole family. I knew we were having pancakes, so I told Dylan that his was coming with ketchup on it. He freaked out, and ran into the kitchen to tell his dad that he did NOT want ketchup on his pancakes. His dad was totally confused, and I was laughing my ass off in the living room overhearing this. Where has this kid been all my life?

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